Is Your Leadership Truly Effective or Just Controlling? Here’s How to Let Go and Unlock True Growth

Leaders tend to have the illusion that their worth and value are only defined by their success, the control they exercise over others and the titles they acquire. But they do not consider that these attachments can hinder their success as leaders. In this ever-changing world, rigid control does not define true leadership; rather, the courage to let go, improvise and accept that reality can form true leadership. Find out how getting away from these illusions can not only improve your leadership style but also the development and well-being of your team.

The control illusion

Leaders often cling to the illusion of control, thinking that they can control results, guarantee success and prevent failure with just their own resolve. This kind of thinking results in overzealous micromanagement and a constriction of team members’ creativity. Real freedom and, in fact, great leadership come from acknowledging that life is dynamic and ever-changing rather than trying to control every part of an organization. A leader who understands that control is temporary will be less likely to experience anxiety and more receptive to change, innovation, and creativity.

Take a CEO, for instance, who finds it difficult to assign work because they worry about losing control over the standard of the final product. An atmosphere where workers feel underappreciated or constrained may result from this attachment to the appearance of control. But when the CEO acknowledges that they can’t manage every detail, they may change their focus from attempting to control every outcome to letting their staff take responsibility, which not only relieves the leader’s stress but also promotes an environment of accountability and trust.

Related: I Let My Ego Turn Me Into a Controlling Leader. Here’s How I Reconditioned Myself and Learned to Let Go.

Relationship with success

Self-identification with external accomplishments is another delusion that causes pain. A lot of leaders get the feeling of value from their achievements, titles or other people’s admiration. On the other hand, success is temporary. When leaders tie their identity to it, they expose themselves to disappointment when things go wrong or when there are inevitable setbacks.

Consider a project manager who is well-liked by their organization and has spearheaded several successful projects. Any subsequent failure could lead to a crisis of confidence if this person’s sense of self-worth is based only on these accomplishments. On the other hand, people can stay focused and strong when faced with difficulties if they embrace a detached mindset, realizing that both success and failure are transitory states. This detachment is not a sign of apathy but rather of liberation from the incessant pressure to justify oneself.

Letting go to grow and develop

Growth also occurs when leaders are prepared to relinquish the positions and titles they hold onto. A leader may grow so enamored with their title — for example, “founder” or director” — that they lose sight of the bigger picture. They might reject changes that could be advantageous to the company, perceive criticism as a challenge to their authority or feel intimidated by ideas from subordinates. This clinging stops the leader from learning to improve and causes stagnation.

Effective leadership, then, is not about firmly clinging to a role or image but about being adaptable and open to transformation. For instance, when a senior executive takes a backseat and lets junior leaders take charge of particular projects, they can see fresh viewpoints and methods that they might have missed. In the end, letting go of the need to be in the forefront can increase the leader’s influence and broaden their perspective on the organization’s possibilities.

Acceptance of reality

A continual struggle with truth is the inevitable result of clinging to delusions. This pain frequently shows itself as burnout, stress or disillusionment in the context of leadership. Leaders who grasp this can begin to connect themselves with reality by admitting that things do not always turn out as planned, that people will sometimes fail, and that not every goal will be realized. Acceptance, on the other hand, does not mean inactivity; rather, it means to live in the present and cope with reality rather than wishful thinking.

For example, a team leader who has a strong commitment to a particular approach might persist in promoting it despite indications that it isn’t effective. They fail to perceive the necessity to change the course because they are so invested in the plan’s success. A leader who accepts reality, on the other hand, would acknowledge the circumstances, adjust and look for fresh approaches without feeling personally devalued by the shift in direction.

Doable actions for leaders

1. Self-observation: Consistently engage in the habit of objectively monitoring your feelings, thoughts and behaviors. This aids in recognizing any illusions or attachments you could be keeping.
2. Adopt flexibility: Keep in mind that titles and responsibilities are instruments for service, not identities. Allow yourself to be more flexible and adaptive to change.
3. Transition from control to influence: Put more effort into influencing results than in controlling them. Give your staff the freedom to decide and accept accountability.
4. Rethink success: View success as a process of development and learning rather than a definitive accomplishment. This way of thinking will enable you to stay open to new opportunities and distance yourself from strict goals.

Related: The Real Difference Between Leadership and Management, and Why Most People Struggle to Make the Grade

Conclusion

Leaders can overcome the restrictions and fears imposed by their attachments by putting these principles into practice. When leaders fully embrace reality and let go of illusions, they may have a genuine effect.