How Becoming a New Dad Made Me a Better Leader

Remember what it’s like to get thrown into a new job with no previous experience?

I just got a vivid reminder — by taking parental leave after becoming a new parent. I stepped away from my business for a few months to help care for my son, spending the summer sleep-deprived and knee-deep in diapers.

But what a joy — and an eye-opener. As every parent knows, finding yourself responsible for another human being is humbling and life-changing. With less than 5% of new dads in the US taking two or more weeks of parental leave, I know I’m in the lucky minority.

For me, time away from the office as a full-time dad has also yielded a few lessons about being a leader. That’s an unexpected bonus from that beautiful experience, which has given me a new perspective on work.

It’s early days, but here are five things I’ve learned so far.

1. Empower your team

For leaders, stepping away can be an opportunity to let their people step up.

My kid needs me day and night. My employees? Less so — and that’s a good thing. Sometimes, leaders and managers overestimate how much their people rely on them.

In my case, I’m lucky that the business has matured to the point where it’s resilient enough to carry on just fine without my constant attention. Stepping away showed me I don’t need to oversee everything and everyone. Without me hovering, team members can take ownership and thrive.

Besides, delegating is good for a business, especially when it’s scaling. Only 25% of company founders excel at delegation, but those who do generate a third more revenue than peers lacking such skills.

Related: 7 Ways to Empower Your Team to Thrive Through Change

2. Put work and its “problems” in perspective

For me, fatherhood has flipped the script on work. I can’t be the only one who thinks that compared to looking after a small child, going back to the office feels like a break.

Now when I think about my parental duties and the impact I have on my kid, I’m not sweating the office “problems” like I used to, which makes me a better leader. I approach work challenges with a clearer mind — knowing I have more important things to keep me up at night. (Thanks, son.)

Likewise, my new role as a parent has forced me to become more disciplined. I arrive at the office focused and ready so I can make it home at a reasonable hour. In other words, I no longer surf the web or read the news at my desk. Instead, I look at what needs to happen, ensure my calendar reflects those priorities and get to work.

With more than half of managers feeling burned out on the job, anything leaders can do to reduce their burden is welcome. You don’t need to be a new parent to put work in perspective and look for ways to do things more efficiently. Success at the office feels a lot more meaningful when it leaves space for the people and moments that matter most.

3. Know when to pull back on tech

As the leader of a digital agency who’s also now a time-strapped parent, I’m all for technology as a productivity booster rather than a mindless distraction or a make-work project. In my business as well as my personal life, I try to set a good example by limiting its use.

Some tech tools simply create more screen time, while others help you cut back. In the latter category are my prized dumbphone and my new favorite app, Read AI. After a meeting, it spits out a transcript, plus key takeaways and how long each participant spent talking.

I don’t like my son seeing me use screens, so I’ve been reviving old-school communication methods like the landline phone. Conversely, GenAI has helped shrink screen time at home, too. Rather than Google parenting questions, I can ask ChatGPT verbally without looking away from my boy.

For me, as a leader, parenthood is a reminder of how easy it is to get sucked into the digital world. Technology should be there to support people — but in a recent survey, three-quarters of employees said AI was increasing their workload, thwarting productivity and contributing to burnout. So rather than fall for the latest shiny new toy, make sure your tech stack is actually helping your team.

Related: 5 Things Tech Employers Can Do to Mitigate Employee Fatigue

4. Show your people that you really care

For any good leader, team members are people first and employees second. Becoming a parent has given me more compassion and respect for colleagues who face the many challenges of raising a child while also keeping it together at work.

To be clear, I’m proud of our company’s policies. Besides offering four or five weeks of vacation to start, we encourage extended maternal and paternal leave, top-up government benefits in some cases and make sure people’s return to work is smooth.

Thanks to my time away, I’m even more committed to helping employees balance work with their other responsibilities. Does your company’s parental leave policy give people the space and time they need to adjust to that new phase of life? If not, it could be time for a rethink.

Showing your people you care also leads to better business outcomes. Employees with highly empathic senior leaders report much higher levels of creativity and engagement than those with less empathic bosses.

Related: You Might Think You’re a Great Leader — But Do Your Employees Agree? Here’s How to Harness Empathy to Drive Team Success

5. Don’t underestimate the power of attention

Like any dutiful first-time dad, I bought all the stuff, only to realize that most of it was unnecessary. Besides a few basics, a baby just needs a steady milk supply and clean diapers — and, most of all, your attention and energy.

At the risk of oversimplifying things, it’s the same at the office. Leaders should remember that with their people, the most powerful tool they have at their disposal is being present.

My efforts to ensure that I’m not distracted with my son encourage me to give the same focus to my team. That’s why, despite the demands of my “other” job, I do my best to show up at meetings fully engaged. When I’m there, I’m there. Now, if you excuse me, I have a team member who urgently needs feeding.